Recently received
An email from a gentleman I had a date with a few weeks ago explaining he wouldn't be seeing me again because the evening lacked 'spark, humour and fun' and he was used to spending time with exciting,...
View ArticleMore tragic news
Some of you may remember a while back my description of the unedifying spectacle of me throwing a major tantrum in front of the daughter of Alexander McCall Smith when she told me that I had elevated...
View ArticleA time of heroes is upon us (possibly)
I was watching the trailer to the latest Lord of the Rings wannabe when it suddenly occurred to me that in their relentless fight to demonise the ultra-fertile poor, the Daily Mail and the Tories may...
View ArticleExplains a lot
I was in Spain last week visiting a friend and something happened to give me a view of a very unhappy future. I was out with said friend (50s, slim) and a friend of hers (indeterminate, slim). We...
View ArticleNo worries you say?
Whenever I go into the office I have to walk past a City AM vendor and every day he thrusts a City AM at me. Every time, I say no (have you read City AM? It's excruciatingly dull and I've barely any...
View ArticleWrong, wrong, wrong
I saw something so beyond wrong yesterday that I've had a fun 24 hours thinking about a post about it. A driving school advertising driving lessons for 12 year olds. 'Junior driver' is what they call...
View ArticleAlso wrong
Being princesses, the cats will only eat tne expensive stuff when it comes to wet food - Gourmet Ocean Delight in pouches. Like all cat foods this smells fairly repulsive and when I open the pouch, it...
View ArticleBack in harness
Today's Observer relates the story of one Helen Morrison who in 1727 placed one of the first known personal ads in a local Manchester paper. As a result of this, the Mayor of Manchester had her...
View ArticleGood intentions?
I'm still not entirely sure what happened Tuesday evening. All I know for sure is that I started off being rather stupid. Rather than get the train back to the hotel before supper, I ate straight after...
View ArticleTis the season to be selfish, failalalalalalalala
I was very struck by an advert I saw on the cover of Time Out this week. It was for something like Night Nurse and urged the reader that if they wanted to snog Barbara from accounts at the Christmas...
View ArticlePersonality quiz
1) You go to the cinema. There is one other person in the auditorium. Do you sit:a) in front of them?b) as far away from them as possible?2) You get on the bus. There is one other person on the upper...
View ArticleWhy I will never be an artist
Recently, one of Sarah Lucas's Nud sculptures came to Edinburgh. Looking at it I was suddenly struck by inspiration for a powerful conceptual piece describing the life of a single woman pushing 50:an...
View ArticleResearch question
Would you do something for me please?Look straight ahead. While maintaining your straight gaze, start thinking about your peripheral vision. Can you see your nose in your peripheral vision while...
View ArticleWhat happened?
I'm going to be 50 this year and weeks like the past one leave me wondering where the hell it all went wrong. I have no close family, no partner and no friends sufficiently close that I would risk...
View ArticleI should add
That I completely understand that other people have lives and are busy (especially at our age) and I am not trying to blame the friends I have for not being there more. I deliberately don't try and...
View ArticleOne thing that happened
One last post and then I'll stop the introspection, I promise. I've recently come to the conclusion that I'm what is known as a'highly sensitive person'. If you want to find out if you are, you can do...
View ArticleWell crap
My vision has been horrible recently so I rang Ultralase to get a follow up appointment and it's gone into administration. So much for the lifetime aftercare guarantee. The 'new' Ultralase which is...
View ArticleUp, down
I attempted an experiment yesterday. Everything I noticed I had to find something nice to comment on. So I spent several hours going nice ring, nice church, nice hairdo, nice bag, nice architecture,...
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Hot air
I've been known to boast on a number of occasions that I have seen the Northern Lights from my spare bedroom window. I'm moving shortly and have picked a new place to still have a view north for this...
View ArticleThe Scottish person's guide to heavenly phenomena
Northern Lights - full cloud coverSolar eclipse - full cloud coverLunar eclipse - full cloud coverSupermoon - full cloud coverMeteor shower - full cloud cover.Still, I suppose it saves me from blinding...
View ArticleI'm just nipping to the loo
It's quite depressing listening to myself at times, thanks to some verbal tics I overuse. Everything is either 'super' or 'fabulous', which is annoying enough but I've recently noticed that when in...
View ArticlePivot on this, you divot
One of the most aggravating things about my new employment is the lingo. I have no idea if it's a PR thing but:we don't contact or email people, we reach out to themwe don't agree, we align with each...
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I humbly beg you to kindly cut it out
There are a number of qualities you need to succeed in PR, which I lack. One is extreme levels of efficiency and organisation. Another is a desire to remain in the background, while someone else takes...
View ArticleCall me picky
Now I live out in the sticks, I spend quite a lot of time in the local shopping centre. Last week, it got rid of its Metro, Stylist and Shortlist display stands. When I inquired why, I was told that...
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